Nyctophilia
by WolfieANNE
Summary: He could feel her hands guiding him all the time, and could hear her voice whispering words into his ear. He found comfort in her in the darkness, even though he never knew her face and not once did she tell him her name.


**Nyctophilia**

**Chapter 1**

**NOTE:** Thank you Rosella6199 for beta reading this story!

**DISCLAIMER:** _I do not own Fairy tail, Hiro Mashima does._

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><p>He had grown accustomed to the darkness.<p>

For months, he had gone without seeing a single ray of light. He could, however, feel it. But feeling it was never enough. And within those months, he did nothing. He had gone from one of the strongest mages to a useless person. He spent his days in the inns they were moving into from time to time, caressing every object in the room to know where and what they were. It was a tedious task, but it was a nice pastime.

He trained sometimes, but he didn't even know what he was hitting. Meredy would tell him that he hit the targets from time to time but not all the time. That made him hurt more than he already did. What was he supposed to do now that he couldn't even fight?

He hated the fact that he couldn't do anything properly now. Meredy often told him to just stay indoors and never go out because he couldn't navigate through the streets without bumping into people or things. He tried once, and that trip didn't go well for him. He embarrassed himself and felt his hope vanish.

But it wasn't that he regretted doing what he did. He did what he thought was best to defeat them and he did, but it cost him greatly. Now, he couldn't see people's faces and he didn't even have a single visitor aside from Meredy—well, that was only because they were still Crime Sorcière, even with his sight gone.

But she was fighting alone, and there was only so much that girl could take. On nights where he could feel the cold breeze blowing in through the windows, he worried over her. He wanted to help her defeat guilds, but he couldn't do anything. Sometimes thinking helped him fall asleep, because he couldn't do anything else than think. His only existing hobby now was thinking. Always thinking. Never ceasing.

One day, Meredy never came home. It made him restless. He wanted to look for her but he didn't even know how the hallways twisted and turned. He could walk around in circles and he'd never know. So, for days, he continued to wait for her, but she never came back.

He thought of two reasons: She got tired of him or she's dead.

The latter sounded much more believable.

But as he made himself believe that she was dead, he surprisingly didn't cry or feel sad. He felt empty. Now that he was alone, what was he going to do? Without food and money, he was bound to die as well. What else was he supposed to do? Wait for a miracle to happen?

Like that was going to happen.

"Hello?"

He jolted forward, turning his head to the direction of the voice. It sounded like it belonged to a woman. But it didn't sound like Meredy and he was disappointed by that fact. However, there was a different matter at hand—someone was with him, in this room, and he didn't know who she was.

He was on edge again.

"Jellal?"

His eyes widened out of reflex and he inched back, wincing. "Who are you?"

She didn't say anything and moved towards him, gently holding his arm. Jellal flinched for a second, staring into darkness as he tried to search for her face. He bit his lip and sighed, allowing her to do whatever she wanted to do with him.

She smelled like spring.

"You haven't eaten in a while, have you?" he heard her ask. He felt the tip of her fingertips brush against his face. He realized she was moving away the wild strands of hair away from his eyes—his worthless and useless eyes.

"I don't know where the food is," he told her wryly, swallowing thickly. Was she smiling? He didn't know. But he heard her footsteps growing quieter, and when she came back, she placed something in his hands.

He cupped it and turned his head to where he hoped she was. "Is this an apple?"

"It is," she said, her voice sounding amused. He brought the apple closer to his lips and opened his mouth. He took a huge bite out of it and a sweet flavor exploded in his mouth. He licked his lips and took another bite, chewing it slowly.

The apple smelled like it was fresh, and not the ones Meredy bought before, because if this was one of those apples, it would've rotted by now.

"I bought those."

He nearly dropped the fruit he was biting into and listened to her next words.

"Do you like them?"

Her voice was so fragile that the whisper sent shivers down his spine. He swallowed the lump in his throat and said, "Thank you…"

She didn't say anything again, and he suddenly wished he could see her face. Who was this girl and where did she come from? How did she know where he was? How did she know his name?

"Who are you?"

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><p>"Who are you?"<p>

She stared at him, watching his eyes roam around in search for her face. She pressed her lips together and fisted her hands, unresponsive. She didn't want to tell him who she was, because she had no right to be here. They forbid her to save him because he was a dangerous man, but she believed that everyone deserved a second chance. She was supposed to be under house arrest after suggesting the idea, but her spirits helped her escape because they believed in her.

Looking at the bluenette with a hard look, she couldn't even fathom how lonely it must have been, waiting for someone who would never return. She couldn't even imagine how he felt, knowing that he couldn't even do anything right anymore. How did he cope with his life after the girl didn't come back? When she came to visit him days before, he looked like he was facing death and she didn't want that.

She finished her mission first and then returned to the inn with a paper bag filled with fruits and some rice. He was lying on his back again when she came back, his eyes staring lifelessly at the ceiling. She knew that he wasn't really looking at anything though, but it seemed that way. He looked like he was thinking about a lot of things and for a moment, she was hesitant to speak up or approach the man. She knew he wasn't a threat and that he couldn't harm her, but she still couldn't help but feel afraid. This was one of the strongest mages before, and based from the information she heard, he still trained.

She admired him. How could he still fight when he already lost? Looking at him now, she saw that he was embracing life again and not death. She was happy for him, but she was also very worried. Now that she gave him a chance to live again, what was she going to do? She couldn't always tell the guild that she was away on vacation, because that would seem suspicious. They were already looking at her like she was mental when she said she was going on a mission and that she didn't want anyone watching her.

Of course, that was half true. She went on a mission near the town he was staying in so that she could take care of him. He didn't deserve to die yet, because she had an inkling feeling that he was going to help her realize something she had failed to realize before. And she wanted that. She wanted to differentiate justice from injustice without questioning her own. She wanted to help him not because she pitied him, but because she felt like she needed to. She felt connected to him somehow, even though she could see whereas he could not.

She knew that he could help her with these confusing thoughts. But for the meantime, she had to help him first. She suspected he'd never even been outdoors before because he could bump into anything and anyone. She was going to help him get over that though. She was going to help him walk on his own.

"Do you want to go outside?" she asked him, watching his lips curl into frown. She suppressed a smile that was growing on her face, fearing that he might notice.

How could he though?

"Outside as in… out into town?" he asked her quietly, his voice so full of hope. She pursed her lips and sucked in a deep shuddering breath.

"Yes."

Her heart squeezed with a tingling feeling as Jellal's face broke into a smile, his eyes beaming with happiness. She forced herself to look away and out the window. The sun was setting.

"There won't be much people out at this time of the day," she said softly, rubbing her arms. "We can eat somewhere, if you want to."

He was shaking his head. "I just want to walk around town. We can eat here."

She looked at him again and found herself wishing she had the same confidence like him. If she were in his shoes, she'd be too afraid to even walk outside her room. With a silent sigh, she took his wrist and gently pulled him to get off the bed. "First, you need to shower and change your clothes."

"Do you know where they are?"

She nodded and closed her eyes shut when she forgot that he couldn't see her. "Yes," she mumbled, irritated at herself. "They're in a bag inside the closet. I'll get them for you."

"No," he said quickly, making her start. "I-I'll choose my own clothes."

She wondered how he was going to do that. "Okay," she said and helped him to his feet. When he stood up, his knees were shaking. She started to question herself how long it has been since he last walked, seeing as his steps were disoriented and his feet were wobbly.

She frowned. She might need to guide him more than she thought she would.

He moved towards the closet with perfect ease and she realized at that moment that he must have spent days here, forming a map in his head while he groped around for objects. He also knew which cabinet door to open as he bent down to rummage through the bag. After choosing his clothes, he stood up and pulled open one of the drawers, taking a towel. He then went to the bathroom and showered.

She sat down on the bed and waited for him to finish. She took her time into observing her surroundings. There wasn't much furniture in the room, and she supposed it was so that he could move freely without worrying about stubbing a toe or two. The room was perfect for a blind person and that was amazing—but why did he lay in bed all day?

She sighed and resisted the urge to lie down. The bed certainly was comfortable, and very, very, very soft. She didn't blame him for wanting to be lazy, but spending the night here, alone, and worrying over your teammate was heartbreaking. She knew about what happened to Meredy—ambushed by a dark guild on her way back to the inn.

Did he know about that? Or did he just lie here, wondering about what happened to her, wondering if she just left him because he was too troublesome.

She breathed out and twitched when the bathroom door swung open. Jellal stood by the doorframe, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. He was wearing pants and a simple green t-shirt. He looked like he was really happy that he took a shower.

She smiled. "Ready?"

He didn't answer. His head was turned so that he was facing her, but his eyes never stared into hers. She felt that invisible hand grip her heart and she waited for him to speak. The seconds that were ticking by felt like hours, and his silence made her anxious. Why wasn't he saying anything?

"…What's your name?" he finally asked, his hands curling into fists. "If you don't tell me, I won't come with you."

She blinked and smiled sadly, lowering her head. Should she tell him? Should she not? She was afraid of the consequences if she did, but she wanted to hear him say her name like it was a silent prayer. She wanted him to call for her whenever he needed help. It was selfish of her, but not many had longed for her help. They would mostly call for Natsu, Erza, or Gray, but never her. Not when she was still weak. Not when all she could do was watch.

They trusted her enough to make her watch over their supposed client, but never to fight against strong opponents. Maybe she did, once or twice, because they were shorthanded. She knew they wouldn't throw her away just because she was weak though. They weren't like that. And even though Natsu always told her and everyone that she was strong, deep down, she knew she wasn't. She liked the thought that he defended her all the time, but it just hurt her every time because it was a lie.

She sighed and shook her head. It was no use pondering over useless thoughts. Especially since she was here now with Jellal and made it even though they thought she would never do it. She was suddenly aware of the deafening silence and his piercing eyes, and she remembered his question.

"I don't have a name," she told him quietly, swallowing the lump in her throat afterwards.

His lack of response made her heart skip beats. She bit her lip as he spoke. "I don't believe you," he said, his voice firm. "But for now, I'll let this pass. What will I call you then?"

She yearned to tell him her real name but stopped herself from doing so. "You don't have to call me anything."

He scoffed, an action that made her start. "Nonsense, everyone deserves to be called something."

She flushed and fiddled with her thumbs, thankful that he couldn't see her. He hummed and after a while, tapped his fist on his palm. "Haru!"

She clenched her fists, closing her eyes shut. She forced herself to speak. "Why Haru?"

"You smell like spring."

The tension eased off her shoulders and she stared wordlessly at her hands, her eyes fluttering open. _"Haru,"_ she thought to herself, her lips cracking into a small smile. _"So, that's my name from now on. It's not as pretty as Lucy but… it's worth it, I guess."_

"So, Haru," he began, slowly walking towards the door. He was shaking again. "Let's go?" He said nervously, his voice cracking. She released a soft exhale and stood up from the bed.

"Let's go."

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><p><em><strong>Nyctophilia<strong> - love of darkness or night. finding relaxation or comfort in the darkness. _

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><p><strong>AN:** I am well aware of the fact that I should not be posting any more stories, but I can't help myself! And this might not be a long story, just up to ten chapters or so. I just really liked the idea, and it's perfect because Jellal is blind now. I know he crushed his eyes, but let's pretend that they still exist here hahahaha. If you liked the story and want an update, please leave a review! :)

_"She felt real."_

_Byee! -Anne :D_

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><p><em>- Please supportread my other stories: **Celebrity Issues, The Devil and the Assassin, Fragile, Life's Challenges, Forgotten Memories, Queen of Stars, A Love That Lasts Forever **and **Going Against The Current.**_


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